garrett kalleberg

 

SPINOZA & CO.

 

A handbook detailing techniques for use in the field, including a routine called “Spinoza and Mortimer Snerd,” in which a low-ranking spy would be grilled at length about great affairs of state of which he knows nothing to break his resistance to revealing the lesser details with which he is well acquainted, “KUBARK Counterintelligence Interrogation” was published by the CIA in July 1963.

 

Kubark, the Light

I turned on the light and looked directly into my soul and asked myself, is there an entity, or a thing, or a being, which is God? and I didn’t know what to answer, so I adjusted the light and asked myself, is there a God, which is a being or entity, which actually exists? and I turned the lamp away from, then towards, me, asking, is there a God, which actually exists, who has existence, is an existing or real thing? and pulled the light in closer, is there a supreme being, or entity, called God, which actually exists? and I didn’t answer, so I pulled the chair up closer to the table, is there a God who or that actually exists, a being who is behind it all, the universe, and everything, is there a supreme being called God? and twisted the lamp, is there a God behind the universe, or in front, or in or throughout, is there a being or entity called God actually existing? and pulled the lamp up close, then backed it off a bit, is there a God, or what is called God, or what some call God, who actually exists, as a being or entity in the universe, a supreme existing being or Being? and did not answer, so turned the lamp higher, to the higher setting, then again, but turned it too far, and then one more time back on again, is there a God, in the universe, or in this universe, or is there a God, in existence outside the universe, in a space or time of God outside the universe as we know it, answer me, but I did not answer, because I didn’t know the answer, and pushed the lamp in closer, is there a God, what the religious and the sanctimonious and the affected call God, what the dying and the hurt and in pain and suffering call God and call upon as God, is there God, is God existing, in the world, or universe or wherever he is or it is, is God, answer me, is God actually in existence or existing or a real thing or a thing of any kind answer me, but I didn’t know what to answer, and brought the light in so close, so that there was nothing but the light, is there a God, does God or has God existence, or life, has or does God have life, is God alive, is God living, or existing, or even surviving, and the light, the light, until I said yes, yes, God is existing, and smacked the lamp and nearly threw it upon myself saying, you liar goddamn you liar you and and said did you son of a bitch did you did you better fucking answer me did you yourself think that you were something unique, different, particular, and unlike anyone else, and I was so relieved that I was asked something I knew the answer to that I said yes, yes, I was the one.

 

Kubark the Healer

I adjusted the lamp and looked directly into my own eyes and asked myself, is there an energy, or a force, or a state of matter, which is Light? and I didn’t know what to answer, so I made an incision and asked myself, is there a Light, which is a force or energy, which actually exists? and I cut deeper, and then crosswise, asking, is there a Light, which actually exists, which has existence, is an existing or real thing? and peeled back the skin, is there a supreme force, or state of matter, called Light, which actually exists or that actually exists? and I didn’t answer, so I scored the thing from top to bottom, and across, is there a Light which or that actually exists, a force or supreme force behind it all, the universe, is there a supreme force called Light? and pulled back the shell, is there a Light behind the universe, or in front of the universe, or in or throughout, is there a force or energy called Light actually existing? and separated the lobes, is there a Light, or what you call Light, or what is called Light, or what some call the Light, which actually exists, as an energy or state of matter in the universe, a supreme existing force or Force? and did not answer, so severed the lobes one from another, but found that they remained attached to a third section, by a stringlike mass, is there a Light, is there a Light in the universe, or in this universe, or is there Light, in existence outside the universe, actually in existence, answer me, but I did not answer, because I didn’t know the answer, and cut one of the masses out altogether, is there Light, what in the books is called Light, what the ordinary call Light, what the living and the dying and the suffering call Light and call upon as Light, is there Light, existing in the world, or universe, or wherever it is, is Light, answer me, is Light actually in existence or existing or a real force or a force of any kind, answer me, but I didn’t know what to answer, and so removed another section, is there a Light, does Light or has Light existence, or force, has or does Light have force, is Light a force, is Light forcing, or existing, or even surviving, and cut deeper, until I said yes, yes Light is existing, and finally severed the cords, the optic nerves connecting the brain to eyes and said, you liar goddamn you liar you did you better answer did you see yourself as something different, unique, particular, unlike anyone else, and I was so relieved that I was asked something I knew the answer to that I said yes, I said, yes that might be, but I know now that it is impossible.