fanny howe

 

RELATED

 

 

Dear Father I erred

 

I left my body to look for you

 

(its image nestles in the center of a wide valley

in perfect isolation wild as Eden)

 

One became many: spirits in presence

 

yes workers and no workers up on the tops

of the hills in striped overalls

 

toy capes puffing

and blue veils as yet unrealized in the sky

 

I made myself homeless

on purpose for you shinnying up the silence

 

murky hand-pulls

Gray the first color

many textured clay beneath my feet

 

my face shining up I lost faith but once

 

(theology)

 

 

 

She said I said why

 

fear there’s nothing to it

at any minute

a stepping out of and into

no columns no firmament

 

Most of each thing

is whole but contingent

on something about

the nearest one to it

 

(human interference)

 

 

 

Ringing bells in winter churches

 

while vast clouds gray over

 

a kindness formerly unmirrored

on your face

 

 

The fine line to every sense (it ends)

 

The stranger kin to the divine (sometimes)

 

 

 

Confused but moving

the only stranger I know

has a bed a blanket

a heartfullness famous

for hypocrisy

 

When she’s not trusting anyone

she leans her crown

upon her hand

snowslop all the way to the grating

before lying down

 

in a little block of childhood

(one hour for the whole of life)

and her book to record it

 

 

 

Was the chasm between her mind

and things

 

constituted by the intellect’s catalogue

or by the presence of senses

(around her face

 

objects fall into special functions

 

tangled loops against concrete walls

moonish nuclear fission capped with molten gold)

 

or by a sticky sub-atomic soul

 

 

 

 

See how this being at the neck and bowel

gives the head and groin a taste of hell

 

that seeps throughout some nervous systems

 

all senses battered and inflamed

 

where the soul drinks disabled

 

and attacks only a she a she can see

who smiles in dreams between clenched hands

 

sobbing from wanting to win her pity

her in the born-hating

 

thing she finds there living