There was him and Anxin and me and Anxin was very young. This wasn’t a love triangle because I knew the dangers of wanting to make someone else’s dreams come true. I’d done that once before. We carried equipment—cables and things zippered in nylon. We did heavy lifting and then I sat in that pile, he called it, of water. Was he a fuck up too, he wondered. He was only joking. When I sat in a puddle or when my mitten got caught in the TV or when I took the trouble of carrying a thing with wheels, he said, “Pardon me for laughing at you, but you crack me up so much!” I often think here is a person I can trust but who knows how I’ve been wrong.