This afternoon about half past four I was sitting at my
desk when somebody knocked on my door. I got up to answer it
when my leg crumbled beneath me. I tried to stand, but it was
as if my one leg were made of silly putty. Finally, with the
help of the arms of the couch, I pulled myself up and yelled at
the door, “Come in, the door’s unlocked.” The door opened
slowly and there stood a little man in a doctor’s uniform.
“You rang?” he said. “Well, not exactly,” I said. “Yes, but
you need me. Am I right?” he said. “Yes, I suppose I do,”
I said. “Well, then, let’s get right to work. It’s your left
leg, am I right?” he said. “Yes, it’s my left leg,” I said.
“Well, I’m afraid we’ll have to saw it off,” he said. “No,
please don’t. You haven’t even looked at it,” I said. “I
heard you fall. I know the sound. It’s no good anymore,”
he said. “It just went to sleep,” I said. “Yes, forever,
it went to sleep forever, and that’s why we have to cut it off,”
he said. “No, not forever. It just went to sleep the moment I
heard the door knock,” I said. “Are you accusing me, because,
if you are…” he said. “No, no, nothing like that. It’s
just a curious circumstance,” I said. “Then put your leg on
the table,” he said. “I don’t think I want to,” I said. “We’re
not talking about want. It’s a necessity,” he said. “Who are
you, anyway?” I said. “I’m your doctor,” he said. “But I only
just met you,” I said. “And just in time,” he said. “I want you
to leave my house,” I said. “But you are a sick man. You
need help right now,” he said. “My leg is beginning to wake up,
I swear it is,” I said. “You only wish it were. Stop this
silliness and put your leg up on the table,” he said. “Please
leave this house right now, I beg you,” I said. “Not without
your leg I won’t,” he said. I picked up a lamp and crashed
it down upon his head. He dropped to the floor unconscious.
My leg was fine, back to its old self again. Then I picked him
up and dragged him outside and dropped him in the gutter.